Great Mystery

 

Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery

 

teach me how to trust my heart, my mind, my intuition,

 

my inner knowing, the senses of my body, the blessings of my spirit.

this delusional state

Once in our yoga seminar one of the students asked Rajo, my first teacher, about something that had happened to her the evening before in her room. She said that she was just looking at the wall when suddenly it started to move and she asked what was the reason for that, and if it was something to be alarmed about. He replied that she had in that moment had a glimpse of reality because actually nothing is as fixed as it appears in our perception. After the couple of days in the yoga seminar breathing deeply and doing the exercises that bring us into a more tranquil state she was able to relax the programming of the psycho-somatic system and was able to see through the projected version of reality to the actuality. 

unthought thought

Artist: Donald Zolan - The Thinker

I have a meditation coloring book of my own creation. In it I usually draw some few words that are significant for my morning meditation on each day. About six weeks ago I had the three words "no thought thought" which were a connection for me to a sense of the mind in abeyance. It was the feeling of being poised on the verge of a thought but with a fine restraint so that the mind energy did not form into an actual thought.

life without cause

There is really no way to express the sense of relief and of total relaxation that arises with the realization that all of life, all of existence is without cause. All anxiety and trepidation are based in the false perception that there is a primal cause to existence and to our life, your life, my life.

falling in love ~

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I fell in love with myself

“We do not believe in ourselves

until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable,

worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch.

Once we believe in ourselves we can risk

curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight

or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

~ e.e. cummings

I started a couple of days ago with the practice of affectionate perception in every situation I was in. I felt that I was not only blessing every person I met with the energy of affection but every situation and every movement I made.

The quality of this perception is the energy of complete acceptance , combined with an attitude of warmth and approval. Not approval as in a sense of denial of some movement or behavior that I recognize as disruptive or destructive but simply seeing it as “what is” and “approving of” the fact that existence is showing itself “like this right now.” In other words, I have no resistance to or judgment of what is observed. I have a sense of melding with what I observe. It is observation -- becoming one with -- what is observed and there is an embracing of it, like a mother holding a child close to her bosom. It is an owning of all I encounter as “me.” And thus there is no disapproval: “This is not as it should be, not what I want.”

Affectionate perception is always in the now moment, because it is based in the direct perception of what is happening. There is a focus of observation that excludes thoughts of anything that is not here, now. This observation sharpens as I begin to sense a strong interest in what I perceive. It is as if I am using this energy as my light beam, like a flashlight in a dark room revealing what is in the space. Affectionate perception reveals to me the world in a never-before-seen way.

Affectionate perception originates in me. I understand there is an energy called “love” that I am the source of. Affectionate perception is a way of looking upon anything with love. Consciously looking at the world with this love affects the world as I look upon it. Affectionate perception perseveres in beaming affection, acceptance, compassion and caring, even in the face of a world that appears to be unreceptive or unresponsive to this form of love energy.

It is deeply empowering to be active in this way, as I am exercising my innate ability to choose willfully how I want to interface with manifested, physical reality. The focused attention that goes hand in hand with affectionate perception gives me the feedback that I am affecting my world directly. I see people’s faces soften, their eyes twinkle and their voices and actions mellow. Of course, I also take in the perception of those who are in such suffering or discomfort that they seemingly are not receptive of this energy from me. Then, compassion lights up in me and my heart opens even more, sending to them what I can to soothe their hurt.

This understanding led to yesterday’s experience of the pure energy of observation.

When observation is free of prejudice, preference or value judgments of any kind, then its quality is as a beam of light of pure awareness. It is as if awareness is closing the circuit of energy flow between the expressions of consciousness as Source-in-form and itself as the observer. Then the two merge and meld. The observer is no longer separate from the observed. This happens spontaneously, as one focuses on pure observation, pure direct perception. Here, too, there is no space for thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow. No space for regrets or hopes. All energy is focused in this present moment, in this place here. This focus is not concentration or effort but rather like a child fascinated by a bug crawling in the grass. The child enters into the bug’s world, in which blades of grass are tall trees. Due to his interest in taking in the newness and freshness of the bug’s world, the child’s attention is naturally drawn there. And so, I am enthralled with the freshness and aliveness I perceive; this experience is me as the experience of the world. Yet, I am the subject, together with all around me and I set the tone, the frequency: all is good; all is life; all is caring; all is love.

Today my focus is drawn to my closest world – me. I am pulled into (willingly) the world of my 70 Trillion cells I call “me.” I feel the weight of each foot on the ground, of my limbs as I move about, of my thoughts and images, of each breath. Then something wonderful happens: I am good. I am more than good; I am amazing, magnificent and that feeling includes every little ache and pain, every discomfort I sense, as I begin to move after the night’s rest. I am in love with myself! Yes, this is the basic taboo, the spell we succumb to at some point during childhood: you should not – you dare not – love yourself. That is bad!

What a joy to unreservedly and uninhibitedly fall in love with myself, with all I am, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. To meld with my own beingness and finally enjoy my self! With this experience of my closest world as something exquisitely delightful, I move and connect with – merge with – other spheres of this one being in the correct frequency. Now, all makes sense and there is a supreme order to everything, which has its foundation in me. I have discovered the order, the falling-into-place of heretofore disjointed elements of myself. Now I am whole, not through any action or change of behavior but through right seeing of what is and has always been. I was merely blinded by the error in my own self-perception. By giving my whole attention to this distortion of “seeing,” it is released and seeing is clear once again. And the clearing of seeing, through pure observation, is a way of life that calls for perpetual diligence. Some call it meditation. Some call it bliss. Some call it Oneness. Some call it Love.

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inter-being - honor all my relations

Original post

Our Interconnectedness with All that Is

"Mitakuye Oyasin refers not just to the interconnectedness of all that exists – plant, animal, mineral – but also includes the elements such as rain, wind, and lightening. Honoring all phenomena in this way allows us to appreciate not just the sky, nature, and living beings, but the rhythms and cycles of the natural world. We can  tap into the Lakota Sioux concept of “Mitakuye Oyasin,” or “all my relations,” and appreciate the fact that everything is connected to everything else, making all that is truly one family.
From the origins of the universe, to the evolution of life on earth, we can celebrate our shared origins."

no sin, no guilt, no retribution

"In the end you know

that there is no sin, no guilt, no retribution,

only life in its endless transformations.

With the dissolution of the personal 'I',

personal suffering disappears.

What remains is the great sadness of compassion,

the horror of the unnecessary pain."

~ Nisargadatta

I like the simile of the simple light bulb. Of course, keep in mind that a light bulb is not actually all that simple and it is the result of complex thought by many over considerable time. Being mindful of what it took in the development of humanity on this planet to have all of the materials for a light bulb available and then to have the understanding of how it could function in order to produce light, it is quite remarkable and wonderful.

The simile I use is to see the light bulb as an inanimate object that 'comes alive' when the electrical current flows through it. The older ones I grew up with are the incandescent bulbs that give off light because a fine wire filament creates resistance to the flow of electrical energy and thus heats up and glows brightly. Similarly, our body-mind-spirit complexes that are based in the physical body, experience Source energy flowing through them and thus they come alive and 'light up'. Seen in this context our lives actually consist of Source energy flowing through inert objects that create resistance to this flow and thus appear to 'come alive', to move, speak, think and, to some degree or the other, 'light up'.

We, as Source energy, are enthralled and fascinated by these 'objects' of our own creation that now appear to be 'alive', like children at Christmas playing with the remote control of a new battery-run dump-truck or locomotive. We actually lose track of the fact that we are actually the energy flow Itself, and not the object that is moved by It. We feel ourselves as the objects, the body-mind-spirit complexes. Wow, amazing! To feel ourselves as actually being the creations of our own 'hands'. Like the artist who, through magic, slips into the painting and lives in the paint-world portrayed on the canvas.

Now, back to the light bulb: at some point the fine wire filament has been heating up and glowing for many, many hours and it becomes brittle. One more burst of energy comes through and "ping"! it snaps, no longer able to sustain the flow of the current. We say then that "the person has died".  The current (Source energy) doesn't mind at all. As soon as the cosmic janitor comes and screws in another fresh, young light bulb, It begins to flow again and the bulb comes alive - the baby's heart beats and then it breathes, talks, thinks and loves.

Now we come to the most fascinating part: the Source energy carries in It all impressions of all "lives" lived by all forms that It has animated throughout all of "time". Each new form that takes on "life" has the capacity to consciously connect with any or all of these impressions. It is a vast data bank that every aspect of Source energy has access to. Which data I connect with depends on my individual propensities and depends on how far I have developed my ability to be sensitive enough to receive the subtle transmissions from the Great Server in the Sky. When this perspective dawns in a person, we say that person has transcended the personal 'I', and personal suffering disappears. It then becomes painfully clear that all suffering is due, simply, to a fatal error in perception of what is real, and what is just a form that is a vehicle for that which is real.

Now all of this is not a linear process and each of 'us' has a highly individual configuration of our body-mind-spirit complex, and that is to be taken literally: it is "complex"! Therefore, I, as one of the cosmic "workstations", will be supported in my functioning by some memories of another 'life', and may very well have the sense that I am connecting with "my past life". Indeed, I am, but the question remains, "who am I"? and thus, what is "mine"? Realizing that I am actually Source appearing in a multiplicity of forms, yes, indeed, all lives are "mine". Of significance is that I relate to the lessons such a memory can impart to me and live that lesson so that I may function more smoothly and thus experience more joy.

It is also my experience that the non-linearity of this process expresses itself as "me" being in a state of consciousness that has transcended the personal "I" to a high degree for quite a while, and then, moments later, I find myself again in a state of consciousness that is characterized by the sense of limitation and suffering as a personal "I". If I can follow the advice of the ancient wisdom texts and, as Matt Kahn says, "Whatever arises, love that", suffering dissipates and I once again find myself as Source consciousness experiencing life in its "endless transformations", and am able to gratefully join in the dance of Life. See you There!

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mind in love

'With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures and some books, I live without envy.' ~ Lope de Vega :: Art by Bonnie Joy Bardos

A mind that is in Love is a smiling mind; it is happy and feels buoyant, cheerful and playful. When in Love, the quality of its seeing is full of affection for everything in its field of perception. The cloak of heavy, dark or broken thoughts is dissipated.


Like the sun burning off the fog, Love clears all congested feelings and thoughts. Where does this Love come from when I am not feeling It right at this moment in my life? It comes from nowhere, which is a good thing because that shows me that It isn’t dependent on any circumstance or condition. If there were a formula that would always work, It would be limited. However, It is unlimited and a mystery, therefore whatever I do is not enough, and yet it may be enough. Grace means a blessing that comes from nowhere. All I can do is be ready and open at all times. I can refrain from that which closes me down. Easier said then done, but that is the practice for me.

“It comes out of me” is one way of putting it. That means It is always available since I am always here. It is a force that I feel when I put my attention on It. How does it happen that I all of the sudden put my attention on It? I think that is because It wants me to look at It, so It can see, can feel Itself.

I must be ready to drop everything, all past impression and thoughts and feelings at any moment. That it the practice: ending. Good luck!

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breathing and freedom

"If you are concentrated on your breathing you will forget yourself, and if you forget yourself you will be concentrated on your breathing. I do not know which is first."

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Shunryu Suzuki

Our respiratory system is part of the involuntary nervous system and also of the voluntary nervous system. Therefore by breathing consciously with awareness we also affect our complete nervous system in a beneficial way. If our awareness is on our breathing there is no place for anything else and thus we experience relief from the hamster cage of our monkey mind.
This is how Shunryu Suzuki speaks of it:

“If you seek for freedom, you cannot find it. Absolute freedom itself is necessary before you can acquire absolute freedom. That is our practice. Our way is not always to go in one direction. Sometimes we go east; sometimes we go west. To go one mile to the west means to go back one mile to the east. Usually if you go one mile to the east it is the opposite of going one mile to the west. But if it is possible to go one mile to the east, that means it is possible to go one mile to the west. This is freedom. Without this freedom you cannot be concentrated on what you do. You may think you are concentrated on something, but before you obtain this freedom, you will have some uneasiness in what you are doing. Because you are bound by some idea of going east or west, your activity is in dichotomy or duality. As long as you are caught by duality you cannot attain absolute freedom, and you cannot concentrate.

Concentration is not to try hard to watch something. In zazen if you try to look at one spot you will be tired in about five minutes. This is not concentration. Concentration means freedom. So your effort should be directed at nothing. You should be concentrated on nothing. In zazen practice we say your mind should be concentrated on your breathing, but the way to keep your mind on your breathing is to forget all about yourself and just to sit and feel your breathing. If you are concentrated on your breathing you will forget yourself, and if you forget yourself you will be concentrated on your breathing. I do not know which is first. So actually there is no need to try too hard to be concentrated on your breathing. Just do as much as you can. If you continue this practice, eventually you will experience the true existence which comes from emptiness.”
Source: Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, p. 112, 113

I like how Shunryu gives us a taste of the playfulness of Zen that may not often be sensed in most of the basic classic Zen texts. "Just do as much as you can." This expresses the Zen attitude that each of us must find our own true way. It cannot be found in any teaching of book. Enjoy!

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soul breathing

Not only is our breath where the voluntary and the involuntary nervous system intersect, but also more deeply there is a connection to our soul. The flow of the breath is more than merely the physical intake of oxygen with the air – vital energy, qi or prana flows through our energy system in rhythm with the breath. This flow of prana increases in a direct ratio to the intensity of our awareness while breathing. When we visualize and begin to ‘feel’ the qi-flow in rhythm with our breath, qi fills our energy field increasingly.


Similarly the place from with the flow originates cannot be grasped by the physical senses or the mind: it is a mystery. WE inhale, pause, exhale and pause. Each active phase of the breath-flow is preceded by a lack of activity, or emptiness. We can say that the in-breath comes from emptiness and flows into emptiness, and the same for the out-breath. This emptiness in the pause between each active phase of the breath is the Unknown. Herein we find the soul connection.

I don’t know what the soul is. Many say that the soul is our individual stream of consciousness that has continuity beyond the physical death and that this “soul” merges, so to speak, with a new physical body at each re-birth. I am aware of the power of our concepts to create reality and thus I do not discount those experiences of re-birth of a ‘soul’ throughout repeated incarnations. I am also aware of the stasis of the ground of Being that is free of participation in incarnations and yet is connected to all physical experiences while at the same time being absolutely unattached. This Ground is of a dimension beyond being and non-being and yet is not different from both of these. Thus it is called Mystery within Mystery.

Nonetheless I do experience a soul connection when breathing mindfully. For me this soul connection has the quality of opening myself up to the influx of the vast spaciousness of the Mysterioso, as a friend of mine is fond of calling It. Thus, “soul-breathing” entails putting my attention on the felt connection to the Unknown, the Mysterioso, and the unlimited vastness that accompanies that quality from which all existence is sourced. Others may say that this is the direct connection with Source or with our own Heart. Whatever words are used, the essence for me is spaciousness. Perhaps most suffering in human life comes from a lack of spaciousness, a kind of congestion on a very deep soul level. If we are able to breathe from our soul, from this place of Mystery, then everything around us opens up, even when in the midst of seeming turbulence and conflict.

The practice is then to put all of my attention, all of my mind-body-spirit on the breath and to accompany the entire flow of the in-breath from beginning to end with my complete attention. In this way there is no place for anything else in my mind. Then I remain with my full attention on the breath while in the space of emptiness between the in-breath and the out-breath. I then am merged with the flow of the out-breath from beginning to end, keeping my attention alive more and more deeply and intensely. With this increased intensity of awareness I experience the pause and the space between the out-breath and the beginning of the next in-breath.

If I am able to keep my attention on the breath for five whole cycles, or the count of the fingers on one hand (touching each finger with the thumb to keep track), I will have consciously opened up to the influx of the soul into my energy field and a deeply restorative spaciousness will permeate my perception. I will begin to feel how the breath has a life of its own and it is not ‘I’ who is breathing, but I am being ‘breathed’. I begin to simply release more and more tension and so I allow the body, the rib-cage, the diaphragm etc. to open and make space for the breath to fill me. Then I release again and allow the physical structure of my body to ‘collapse’ and contract naturally and effortlessly more and more, releasing the flow of the breath until completely emptying itself again. In this space after the out-breath there may appear a longer phase of ‘no-breath’ and of effortlessness. Just watch for it and be happy when that happens. If it does, allow this space to expand as long as it feels comfortable. Enjoy, for that is the space where you sit uninterrupted alone in the company of your soul!

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related post: freedom and concentration - zen

stop the sound - zen

"step by step

I stop the sound

of the murmuring brook."

 

Shunryu Suzuki

How can I stop the sound of the tumultuous river we are now immersed in and find Peace, if I cannot stop the sound of the murmuring brook of my own thoughts? Peace is the key to freedom. 

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In my experience I don't so much "stop" my thoughts as that I step out of the stream of conditioned consciousness, of the dualistic perspective as me and objects that surround me. Stepping out of this "murmuring brook" I simply release my interest in any thoughts and where they might lead me. Any "problems" to solve are left for later, and soon I find myself in a space of peace. This space is always available and it is for me always a new experience to find myself in it. I do know that I am never in that space when there is much tension built up in my mind-body-spirit complex, so to relax is always good.

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We say, “Step by step I stop the sound of the murmuring brook.” When you walk along the brook you will hear the water running. The sound is continuous, but you must be able to stop it if you want to stop it. This is freedom; this is renunciation. One after another you will have various thoughts in your mind, but if you want to stop your thinking you can. So when you are able to stop the sound of the murmuring brook, you will appreciate the feeling of your work. But as long as you have some fixed idea or are caught by some habitual way of doing things, you cannot appreciate things in their true sense.

source: Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, p. 112

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fifteen minutes of 24 hours – Anandamayi Ma

"God gives us 24 hours a day, can't we give Him fifteen minutes of quiet meditation ?"

Sri Anandamayi Ma

Anandamayi Ma – excerpt from the biography by Richard Lannoy

“Throughout Indian history, this pattern of instruction ensured the transmission of knowledge from one generation to the next. In the case of Anandamayi who did not herself have a Guru, but was self-initiated, the traditional model of the teacher and the taught has, in certain respects, taken on new life, but in other equally important respects she radically departed from tradition.

“Her role as a revered Brahmin divine was by no means orthodox since this was a departure from the traditional status parameters of the married woman; further, for some 50 years as a widow and thus a member of the lowliest rank of Indian society, she was at the same time one of the most sought after of all spiritual teachers.
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“In the case of Anandamayi, it has become obvious, indeed widely known, that we are dealing with a level of spiritual genius of very great rank; her manifestation is extraordinarily rich and diverse.

“She lived for 86 years, had an enormous following, founded 30 ashrams, and travelled incessantly the length and breadth of the land. People of all classes, castes, creeds and nationalities flocked to her; the great and the good sought her counsel; the doctrine which she expounded came as near to being completely universal as is attainable by a single individual.

“Though she lived for the good of all, she had no motive of self-sacrifice in the Christian sense: "there are no others," she would say, "there is only the One". She came of extremely humble rural origins, though from a family respected over generations for its spiritual attainments.

“In the course of time she would converse with the highest in the land, but draw no distinction between the status of rich and poor, or the caste and sectarian affiliations of all who visited her. She personified the warmth and the wide toleration of the Indian spiritual sensibility at its freshest and most accessible.

“The fact that she was a woman certainly accentuates the distinctive features of her manifestation. Female sages as distinct from saints capable of holding sustained discourse with the learned are almost unheard of in India. Her femininity certainly imparts to the heritage of Indian and global spirituality certain qualities of flexibility and common sense, lyricism and humour not often associated with its loftiest heights.

“Her quicksilver temperament and abundant lila sacred play are in stark contrast with the serenity of that peerless exemplar of Advaita Vedanta, Sri Ramana Maharshi of Tiruvannamalai, the quintessence of austere stillness. That a woman of such distinction and wide-ranging activity should emerge in India in the 20^th century, the century of world-wide feminism and reappraisal of feminine phenomenology hardly seems a coincidence

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“I believe Anandamayi has added a whole new spiritual dimension to the re-awakening awareness of women to their own inheritance. As an exemplary figure, she emanates a feeling of complete ease, warmth and secure confidence in her femininity.

“Anne Bancroft, in her line study of modern women mystics, Weavers of Wisdom, quotes this moving statement by an English woman: "I felt she loved me so utterly that I could never be the same again. Although I only saw her a few times, I have never lost that feeling and her presence is always with me. She was a person who had a vision of life and reality which she could transmit in such a way that, since seeing her, I have always known that there is harmony and purpose in the universe."

“In the wisdom and profundity of Anandamayi's discourse we recognize the true voice of the sage. But she was more than just a wise person, although when it comes to defining exactly what this special extra dimension to wisdom and spiritual goodness was, adequate words are hard to find. She was, I believe, just about as near perfect a human simulacrum of the divine as we are ever likely to encounter on this planet. I chose the word 'simulacrum' with care for the simple reason that I do not know what a divine human being really is. I am agnostic to this degree, whereas the majority of her followers are devotees, bhaktas, and for them she is, without qualification, truly a Divine Being.”

Source: Richard Lannoy, Anandamayi, Her Life and Wisdom, p. 7, 8

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Who Is Anandamayi Ma?

Anandamayi Ma was a 20th-century avatar: a direct emanation of wisdom, born totally awake. By her own testimony, Ma manifested in response to the prayers of sentient beings for a female incarnation of the divine. While accounts of her extraordinary lila, or enlightened activities, are legion, she lived her life as a householder in unusually close contact with her devotees, advising them about all aspects of life, laughing with them, comforting them, singing and simply allowing all those who came to find refuge in her presence. Her guiding presence is still available to anyone who wishes to seek it out. Although Ma had little formal education, she directly embodied enlightened wisdom to such a degree, she was able to convey the subtlest teachings to tens of thousands of followers from all walks of life. Her teachings are precise, playful, gutsy, down-to-earth, inspiring and deeply moving. Jaya Ma!

source

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